marlaina's musings

Iwould like to send outa thank you to regeneration for theveirtual gift. :) I was not expectingit, and it was awesome, so thank you.

Also happy birthday to thos I've missed; I sincerely appologixe for that. I hope you all had awesome days.

Phoenix

Recently, CNN ran an article entitled
Dance Class a Gift for Special Students, Instructor
this caught my attention because from the age of seven to the age of sixteen, I was a dancer. Every two weeks, one of my parents and I went to a dance class specifically designed for students with many types of disabilities. I think that wheelchair dancing was on a separate day, but each student had her/his own unique needs. I remember that at first, I couldn't understand many of the concepts, but as I got older, I came to look forward to the movement, the music, the social interaction.

I once attended a ballroom dancing class specifically designed for people with visual impairments and would've continued to do that, if I hadn't gotten RSD. Even so, dancing was a huge gift for me.

Oh, the pain!

I'm not actually the only one who got RSD as a dancer.
Cynthia Toussaint experienced this too
her story is both heartbreaking and life affirming. While dance brought both of us pain, I can only speak for myself when I say that I wouldn't go back and not have danced.

Dancing for Healing

But dance can bring healing and transformation., too. In fact, there's actually a therapy known as Dance Movement Therapy. I was blessed to participate in one class of this, and I found it beneficial.
Dance Therapy

The great thing about dance is it doesn't have to mean fancy footwork, performing or even getting all of the moves right. Dance can be an expression of emotion, and even a stabilizer of emotions. The one rule I follow is to listen not only to the music, but also to my body. Do I need to dance from my bed or a chair? That's fine. Do I need to modify a movement because it hurts? Okay. Do I need to just imagine myself dancing because the thought of moving makes me ill? Then that's what I do.

Much of this I learned in the class I took, but I've also been fortunate to be a reader of the
Dancing with Pain Blog
I'll be honest, when I firsst became aware of this blog, I thought "I'll never be able to dance again", but I kept reading. The class I was a part of and the new iPod Touch have motivated me to start using dancing to help me heal. These are the benefits I've noticed so far:

• Less stiffness.


• Some pain relief


• Relief of feelings of anxiety, worthlessness and sadness


• An overall boost to my self-esteem

Dance isn't a cure all for me. I still have bad RSD, but it's one tool I can pull out to make myself feel better.

So how Does a Blind Person Dance?

I get this question a lot. I got it with Tai Chi too. I don't know what others prefer to do, but here's how I learned. Basically, learning dance as a blind person required a lot of trust. It required feeling others move and moving myself. Sometimes, it required letting someone else move my arm or even my leg (with additional physical support). But when I think about it, most of my knowledge of dancing says that that's true whether you have a disability or not.

How I dance now

The way I dance now is obviously very different. I have less trust when it comes to touch, and some movements aren't possible for me right now. I have to be much more aware of what my body is telling me. Is it a "hurts so good" moment or a "bad hurt" moment? Am I close to something painful? Does my body want to do this movement? How do I feel emotionally when I move this way?

All of these are factors, but the advantage is that these should transfer over to the rest of my life. That kind of check-in is important whether you're ill, well, dancing or living!

Guiding my Steps

Of course no discussion of dance would be complete without talking about dancing with a partner. Obviously, I started to learn this in ballroom dancing, but the times when I dance with a partner most are when I work with Julio. As we weave through tables at a restaurant, I must trust him and let him lead me. I must be responsive to his every move. This article
Dancing With Dogs
gives me goose bumps, especially now that I'm traveling with Julio again. I've been given the gift of a wonderful leader, and am
experiencing that joy more intensely than ever
it truly is like dancing.

A Few Motivating Videos

If this post hasn't inspired you to dance, and the other sites haven't, maybe these videos will:

• Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen


• The Dance (Garth Brooks)


• I Hope you Dance

One thing with which I've always struggled through as a writer is stories. I feel that many times, my skills are much better in the areas of "this is what I did", "These issues are important" or something which doesn't necessarily have a plot line. I love a good book or audio which has a good story, but for the life of me, I can't seem to write them. I believe I have a lot to write, whether it is fiction or non-fiction, but creating a plot and using other elements is harder for me. Recently, I became even more aware of this deficit in my writing when PBS aired a special about how
Bill Cosby won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor
See, it all started with the dentist skit and went on from there. Now, I'm sitting around laughing histerically at some of his albums.

My favorite one is the Noah piece. If you watch it, it's available on the Best of Bill Cosby album or I've linked to it on Twitter before, you'll see that he can carry some theme from piece to piece. My thoughts are "How does he do that?" It's amazing. So three million cheers for Bill Cosby because he can get me out of a bad mood!

But back to the writing. I find that weaving together plots like that is incredibly difficult. If you write, do you have this problem? How do you manage it/ If you don't write, feel free to comment with your favorite Bill Cosby moment!

Yeah,, I've fallen victim to a few hoaxes in my life. Mainly as they relate to my pain and things I thought might work. My biggest purchase in that area was a home biofeedback unit (supposedly). Now, I always read reviews, reviews, reviews.

There have been other products which promised to do more than they did, but sometimes I'm not totally sure if they're a hoax, or just don't work for me.

If you've noticed that I haven't posted much, you'd be right. If you want something to blame, for once, you don't have to blame the pain. No, instead, I'm busy playing, learning and occasionally uttering a choice word or two. I've been making jewelry, dancing as my body allows and playing with my new toy. I decided to but the apple, er, I mean bullet and get an iPod Touch. I have to say that the experience I've had with the product and the service I received far surpasses other experiences with mainstream products.

First of all, it's important to know that the iPod Touch's third generation is accessible. It runs Voice Over and this can be enabled either by someone sighted (mine was enabled at the Apple Store), or by a blind user using iTunes. This is huge, because if you're smart enough to read this blog, I think you have enough computer knowledge to deal with enabling Voice Over. The advantage to going to the Apple Store is you can learn how to use the product and get help. I visited once before the time when we made the purchase. This is one case where i'm glad to have the Apple After Care Plan, which means that I have even more access to technical support.

What impresses me the most is that I can get the support I need from a mainstream company. I know that in the past, Apple hasn't been the most accessible, but now they've definitely made a huge leap forward, in my opinion.

I'm currently learning to work with this product and am hoping to be able to blog on the topic more. I'd also like to create an E-Book about my experience with the Touch. Next time, I'll talk about the resources which are helping me and thank those who have been there answering my many questions. For now, here's
Apple's Description of accessibility features on the iPod Touch

The pain woke me up at three thirty today. It feels like someone took a blow torch to my foot right now and, as a friend of mine used to say I could cut it off with a butter knife and it'd feel better. Even so, I have a lot of things to be grateful for this year, even if I can't wait for 2009 to end.

I read an excellent post about grattitude on
A Chronic Dose
which is another one of my favorite blogs. I'm already feeling grattitude for many things, but this post discusses the topic of giving thanks even while ill in such a beautiful way. With that said, here are just some of the things I'm grateful this year. What are you grateful for?

• My faith is stronger than it had been, thanks to support and God getting my attention in a big way.


• I can smile again and it isn't an act and it isn't fake. When I smile, it's the real thing!


• At least once a day, I can laugh so hard my stomach hurts.


• I can
  Work with Julio


• I have a great support system, family, friends and professionals who care about me.


• I am able to reach out and accept that help when I need it.


• I can write again, the words are finally coming!


• I can see progress in various areas of my life.


• I feel a sense of hope that wasn't there for a while.


• I'm learning new things and enjoying what I learn.


• I enjoy small pleasures, even something as "simple" as hearing a favorite song on the radio.


• I have choices and options I didn't always have.



• I get to meet wonderful people and learn from them.


• I have a home.


• I don't worry about where my next meal will come from.


• I am never alone.

And remember, May your stuffing be tasty/ May your turkey be plump/ May your potatoes and gravy/ Have nary a lump/ May your yams be delicious/ And your pies take the prize/ And may your Thanksgiving dinner/ Stay off your thighs!

Seriously, have a good one, be thankful, and stay safe.

As I look for ways to take steps forward in my recovery and become the person I truly want to be, I've been using lotss of different tools to help me cope and encourage healing. It's not like I'm perfect, not by a long shot, but as I implement these little changes, I really do seem to be benefiting from them. I want to share a seemingly simple one with you, in the hopes that it will encourage you to find the right resources and tools for you. As my hope and optimism slowly increase, I have started to believe that we can make a difference in the lives of others as well as our lives. It's sometimes hard and messy, but the benefits are worth it.

Today, I'd like to talk about using Twitter as a healing tool. I've seen this in many forms, and my goal isn't to deeply discuss any one form of healing through Twitter, but to give you a feast of options to consider. If you have others, feel free to leave them in the commentss.

Connection

If you're chronicly ill, you might find that you don't feel well enough to go to parties, maybe even the thought of coffee with a friend is difficult for you. I discovered, however, that isolation breeds a lot of negative thoughts at best and it can contribute to depression and other challenges. Twitter allows me to connect to others in short bursts. I have 140 characters or less, but it's amazing how it is possible to connect in that short of a comment.

Please note that I still don't advocate replacing real voice to voice or face to face interactions with Twitter. It can really only do so much and deep relationships get formed after real interaction, but Twitter can get the ball rolling.

Counting Blessings

Twitter is a great place to count your blessings. When you have a success story, sometimes you just want to share it. The great part is that by sharing it, it can sometimes encourage others. Spreading the joy is extremely important.

Setting Goals

Sometimes it's good to have a goal that others know about. It can create great accountability, but it's also good for keeping goals manageable. Instead of writing some long drawn out goal, I find a short one is easiest to accomplish. And when I achieve it, I have people who are thrilled for me.

Support and Cheer Leading

This goes with the relationship building benefits, but it deserves its own mention. It's possible to find friends on Twitter who share your challenges. This kind of connection reminds us that we're not alone, even in the middle of the night.

A Personal Challenge

Twitter can provide a personal challenge to do something, find something or learn something. My personal challenge is to post a link to something funny (usually from YouTube) each day. That makes me laugh and I feel like I'm spreading the joy.

Tracking Progress

Tracking progress is another great use of Twitter. Even so, it's important to use it in a way which is safe for you and that's different for everyone.

A Few Tips for Getting the Most out of Twitter

First, it's vital that using Twitter is actually helpful, not harmful. Make sure to set boundaries to keep yourself safe. Also figure out how you want to use Twitter to help you, but don't make it too rigid. If you decide to change how you're using the service later, that's okay.

I hope this gives you some ideas on how you might be able to use Twitter to improve your life!